An Alternative To Tipping

Numerous restaurants, including several in Boston, have decided to eliminate tipping, partially as a means to pay all of their employees better, especially those back of the house employees, the cooks, dishwashers, and others who normally do not benefit from tips. The problem then facing those restaurants is how to generate sufficient income, without tips, to properly compensate their employees. Some restaurants add a service fee, such as 20%, to their customers' bill while other restaurants raise the prices of their food and drink.

A local chain of seafood restaurants (though they don't like to be called a chain) will soon be eliminating tipping at all of their locations, instituting a more unique way to increase their income so they can properly compensate all of their employees. It is their hope that their new policy will also help educate consumers as to all of the hard work that goes into a restaurant, including many elements that most diners never think about.

This new policy is being tentatively called "A La Carte," a phrase that many diners may already know. However, this restaurant chain is expanding that concept far beyond the usual practice. Diners will now individually pay for all aspects of their dinner, from their silverware to their service. You will only pay for what you use, but individual prices will better indicate the effort that goes into providing you your meal.

For example, you will be charged a fee to make a reservation. You will also have to pay an hourly fee for use of the table. If you linger far too long at a table, the restaurant loses money so the hourly fee is justified. At your table, you have a couple options for utensils and plates. It will be a cheaper fee for plastic silverware and paper plates rather than actual plates and silverware. Paper & plastic can be discarded, without the need to wash them, incurring water costs, dishwasher labor costs, etc. Condiments, such as salt & pepper, ketchup, mustard, and such, will also cost a small fee.

You will also pay a server fee for each time the server must stop by your table. Some diners are more demanding of their server, having that server go back and forth multiple times from their table. That will now cost those diners more to do so. And special orders, such as substitutions, will also incur a fee. Catering to food allergies, real or alleged, will also incur a special fee.

All food will be charged a la carte, and individual items may also incur an extra fee for longer cooking times. For example, if you order a steak well done, which takes longer to prepare, you will have to pay more than if it were ordered medium rare.

The beverage program will also see some necessary changes. For example, you will pay an extra fee for the type of glassware you select for your wine. Paper cups will be the least expensive and Riedels will be more expensive. You will also be charged if you need a decanter.

I asked a few local food & restaurant personalities for comments on this chain's elimination of tipping and their new fee policy:

Mucus Howitzer of Boston's Favorite Chain Restaurants: "I like the fact none of these new fees are hidden. Hidden is bad, very bad. I do love paper plates and cups and think it's great I can pay less for the pleasure of using them. I will be writing about this in the near future, an article titled My Top Ten Favorite Restaurant Fees."

Pattycake Magoo of I'm Your Slave Not Your Server: "I'm glad to see more restaurants trying to better compensate all their employees. If cooks are paid a better wage, then they will no longer spit and urinate in your food out of anger and frustration. And servers who get paid a better wage, and who are no longer reliant on tips, can buy better quality drugs and be much happier people."

Mr. Hanky Aaron Levee of Insuring A Full Belly: "A brilliant financial move though I would never eat there as I hate seafood. The employees though need a better financial future so I hope this new policy helps them. And then I can show them how to handle all their new money so they can afford to eat well for the rest of their lives."

Willright Fourfoud of The Foodie's Foodie Food Blog: "I am all for this new policy to help all those poor restaurant employees. I don't mind that restaurant prices will be increased for all those a la carte items. As I never have to pay at any restaurant, this new policy won't hurt my wallet in the least.  Sucks to be you."

Drool Starkist of Bagels, Bagels, Lox & Spam: "Why the hell does anyone care about this crummy chain? I hope this policy fails, they go out of business, their restaurants are razed, and the lots become food truck plazas."

As you can see, 4 out of 5 of these people were supportive of the new policy. In an informal poll on Twitter and Facebook, 85.27% of the respondents were also supportive.

What are your thoughts?

SENA14: Fish Fun & Photos

"We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came."
--John F. Kennedy

Every year at the Seafood Expo North America, I take a few hundred photos of all of the fascinating things I find there, including plenty of fish heads. Not all of those photos easily fit into my other posts, but I still want to share them with my readers. Thus, I have collected a group of photos here for your viewing pleasure. I've added captions (some serious, some humorous, to some of the photos. Please enjoy this visual journey through the warped eye of the Fish Head Whisperer.

Look at me! I can stand on my head without using my fins.

It looks like these frog legs are dancing the Can-Can, with the lettuce serving as their dress.

That is lobster perfection, with the meat expertly extracted to reform a lobster without the shell.

Would you like to try bobbing for crabs? Unlike apples though, they might bite back.

"Me eel brothers, let me release you from the prison of all that plastic. I want you to be free!"

Sumo crab, ready to battle.

"Look, up in the sky. Is it a bird? A plane? No, it is a humongous fish!"

Fish heads. Big eyes. What are they thinking?

Unfortunately, I didn't get to taste any gator this year at the Expo.

I'm a sucker for octopus.

I love the colors on this guy.

Capt'n Catfish is a regular at the Expo. I still wonder how he would taste fried in cornmeal.

A prehistoric, giant lobster, chiseled out of an ancient glacier?

Apparently this Panda is too obese now to climb up the pole, so now he sits at the bottom. Someone has been eating far too much bamboo.

I did not know there were Irish polar bears. Raise a Guinness and celebrate St. Patrick's Day at the Expo.

This is one of the only true Fish Heads I saw at the Expo. Most of the heads I saw were still attached to the fish.

No, it is a Geoduck!

"I see you, and don't think you are touching my legs."

This fish is on Match.com and "Sweet Lips" is his screen name.

Just not quite sure what it is.

Where is McGruff the Crime Dog when you need him?

Why does it seem these polar bears get bigger every year?

Party like a Squid!

"No, it didn't hurt when I go my tongue pierced."

Maybe the meanest fish I saw at the Expo.

Moe, Larry and Curley.

The rest of this photos are some intriguing seafood from Providence Bay Fish Co. in Rhode Island. Above, Whelks in-shell,

Red Coral Sea Cucumber, meats and skins,

Whelk meat.

White sea cucumbers.

Red Coral sea cucumber meat

"I've always wanted to be able to hold my breath for like, ever, and swim in the water like a fish."
--Carlos Pena, Jr.

"And Now For Something Completely Different"

Enjoy some silliness!

Top Ten Rejected Saké Names

10. Kikko Man Juice
9. Godzilla's Fiery Pee
8. Rice-a-Roni, the Tokyo Treat
7. Love Hotel Drippings
6. Golden Shower Ginjo
5. Jak-Off Junmai
4. Happy Hiroshima Memories
3. Elixir of a Used Schoolgirl Panty
2. Spit of the Syphilitic Samurai
1. Die Gaijin Dai-Ginjo

Top Ten Avant-Garde Ingredients of the Future

10. Mold
9. Dried placenta
8. Kitty Litter
7. Play-Doh
6. Fingernail clippings
5. Organic dog food
4. Hemlock
3. Belly button lint
2. "Yellow" snow
1. "Long pig" (Look it up!)

Top Ten Rejected Restaurant Names

10. Cats, Dogs & Other Pets
9. Week-Old Leftovers
8. Piss & Vinegar
7. Swine Flu Cafe
6. Overpriced & Tasteless
5. Testicle Trattoria
4. Benny's Buffet & Vomitorium
3. Fat Gluttons Only
2. Dan's Diarrhea Diner
1. Hitler's Kosher BBQ

Top Ten Signs of a Person Overly Obsessed With Wine

10. Your children are named Cabernet, Chardonnay and Pinotage.
9. You are building an addition onto your house, using only corks.
8. You work three jobs, two solely to pay for your wine.
7. You have memorized all of Parker's ratings for French Bordeaux for the past 20 years.
6. You drink wine with breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert, 365 days a year
5. You can recite the names of over 5000 wine grapes.
4. Your entire house is wallpapered with pages from the Wine Spectator.
3. Every evening, you watch your DVD of Sideways.
2. Your key chain has a corkscrew, tastevin, wine collar, wine stopper, aerator, wine pourer, and personalized wine charm.
1. You have legally changed your name to Oenophile.

Top Ten Reasons to Be a Wine Blogger

10. Free wine!
9. You have the potential to stand out among 1000 other wine blogs.
8. You don't need to know anything about wine.
7. You can work at your own pace, whenever you get a chance.
6. Wine is sexy.
5. Many bloggers will assist you if you have questions.
4. You'll become a celebrity among your family and friends.
3. You can feel like a professional wine writer.
2. Free wine (it deserves mentioning twice)!
1. You can earn money.

Top Ten Reasons Not to Be a Wine Blogger

10. Most of the free wine you receive sucks!
9. You will likely get buried in obscurity among 1000 other wine blogs.
8. It will be painfully obvious you know nothing about wine.
7. You'll end up spending as much time writing as a full time job.
6. Being a wine geek is not sexy.
5. Many bloggers will plaigarize you and bad mouth you behind your back.
4. Your family and friends won't actually read your blog.
3. Professional wine writers will despise you.
2. You actually prefer beer and vodka to wine.
1. You'll earn enough money to buy an extra cup of coffee each month.

This is my 2000th blog post! Over the past 2 1/12 years, I have averaged about 2 posts a day. I pondered long over what type of post would be appropriate to commemorate this special occasion. In the end, I took the advice of El Jefe, who suggested I consider WWMPD, What Would Monty Python Do. As I contemplated that advice, I decided to write something silly, and hopefully funny. You be the judge of that.

Feel free to add your own contributions to any of the above lists in the Comments.