Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Passionate Foodie to be Shut Down

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce the closure of "A Passionate Foodie." This will be my final post and then I will walk away forever from my blog. But to stay true, I must also provide my readers with the reason for this closure. I must confess to my crimes, to the fraud I have perpetrated against you all.

It is not easy to come here and tell you the truth. You may despise me for my lies, for my weakness. But I am human and was swayed to veer off the proper path. I can only hope for forgiveness and the chance to make amends.

I have to take a deep breath before continuing. Ok, let me say it now.

I have provided many restaurant reviews over the past year. Yet I have never actually ate in any of those places. I made it all up based on what I have been told by others or what I have read elsewhere. I dislike most of the food I have talked about. My actual favorite restaurant is Burger King. I am addicted to Whoppers and fries. I probably eat at Burger King at least five times a week.

The same goes for all my wine reviews. I hate wine! Nasty grape-flavored swill. I actually don't drink any alcohol at all. It all gives me a head-ache. I just make up the reviews. Give me Diet Doctor Pepper instead. I probably drink at least a two-liter bottle of Diet Doctor Pepper each day. It goes well with a Whopper.

Why did I lie about all of this? Money, pure and simple. The restaurants and wineries paid me $100 for each review. Over the past year, I have made quite a nice sum of money. It has kept me happy in Whoppers and Diet Doctor Pepper. It also allowed me to buy a bunch of DVDs, including all of the seasons of The Beverly Hillbillies. Jethro is a hoot.

But my conscience has gotten the best of me. While sitting at Burger King yesterday, I started to cry. And I did not stop sobbing for almost an hour. I felt a pain in my chest at all the lies I have told, about all the fake reviews I have written. I knew I had to confess and shut down my blog. I will have to find another way to earn some extra money. Maybe I will get a paper route. I still own a bicycle.

The tears are starting to fall once again. This has made me very emotional and I beg your forgiveness for my sins. But I have one final thing to say, which I hope does not anger you. I hope it helps to redeem me for all the lies.
April Fool's!!!!


Anonymous said...


Foodie Mom read your confession in shock. I could not believe you were eating at Burger King. I should have known how you love to April Fool people. I will deal with you later on this issue. No cinnamon rolls for a month and you can ponder if this is an April Fool's joke or for real.

Love you, Foodie Mom

SB Wine Advocate said...

if only you were paid 100 bucks a review. drop the burger king!

Julie said...

Good one!

Richard Auffrey said...

Thanks all. What is funny is that last night on the TV Land channel, they were running a Beverly Hillbillies marathon featuring Jethro.